How to Introduce a Rescue Dog into the Family

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There are so many dogs that need new homes and families who have the homes and hearts to take them in. However when the family already owns a dog/s it’s not as easy as just bringing home a new dog and thinking it will run smoothly. Below are some helpful tips to introduce a rescue dog into the family

Make sure you are ready for another dog.

  1. Being ready finically is a necessity before bring in another dog. Since you have to pay for the dog and everything that comes with the dog.
  2. Make sure resident dog/s are already established. It can take up to a year for a dog to fully feel at home and understand the rules in the house.
  3. Fix all bad habits of resident dog/s before bringing in a new dog. Whether if it is leash pulling, excessive barking, nipping or jumping on people the bad habit can become worse and harder to break when a new dog is added to the mix.

The finding the right dog

  1. Find a dog that’s personality matches your family. A lazy basset hound wouldn’t work well in a high active family. While a hyper dog wouldn’t work well with a resident dog/s that is a couch potato.
  2. Two dominant dogs will not work together because they will be fighting for control, so one dominant and a submissive dog work well together. However you don’t want to have a dog that will be a bully to the other dog/s. If they are keeping a dog from you, not letting them into a room, not letting them eat or drink then they are being a bully dog.
  3. Some male dogs don’t do well with other male dogs. While females usually do well together. Old dogs can become aggressive with puppies who have high energy.

The first introduction

  1. Try to meet at a neutral setting
  2. Keep all dogs on a loose leash. Being on a loose leash will make it easier to help control the situation, while letting the dogs can come and go from the interaction.
  3. Try to let them meet nose to nose first then let them sniff each other. Some dogs do not like to have their butts sniffed. Meeting nose to nose helps the dogs see each other and feel more comfortable.
  4. Look for any signs of uncomfortable and hostility
  5. Have a half hour to an hour blocked out
  6. Take the dogs for a together to see how they will interact with noises and distractions.

Off the leash.

  1. Let dogs play in a fenced in yard with room to run
  2. Let dogs figure out how to play together and who is dominant/ submissive, some growling and biting may take place.
  3. Be ready to jump in if things get out of hand.
  4. Give dogs time to themselves so they can have a break, and each gets alone time with you.
Be prepared to punish both dogs. Do not let bad behavior slip through just because of the new dog / new environment. Letting the dogs know who really is in charge will help keep bad habits under control.
Finally know that it can take up to two weeks for dogs to fully get along and work together. There will be times like most siblings when the dogs will dislike each other just let them figure it out and be ready to step in.

I Was ______ and Turned Out Fine

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Whenever a person feels offended by a parent’s choice to do something or not do something, they always say “well I was _____ and turned out fine” or “I did _____ with my children and they turned out fine”. They believe that whatever they did was/is the best way for a child to be raised.

I absolutely hate when people say this to me. They are questioning my parenting choices, thinking I am doing something wrong. Saying “well I was _____ and turned out fine” or “I did _____ with my children and they turned out fine” makes me judged and that I am failing as a mother. However I know I am a good mother and I make the best decision for my son.

There is not an exact way to raise a child, every parent is going to raise their child in their own way. If we all raised them the same than everyone will think and act the same way. It is alright for parent’s to do something different than what their parents did before them, than their friends and family.

Times are changing just because something worked for one child or family doesn’t mean it work for someone else.  New technology and safety guidelines are changing the way parents are making decisions for children. The new safety guidelines, recalls, and new technology are made to help parents make smart and safe choices for our children, they wouldn’t be made if there wasn’t a reason for them to be made. Such guidelines as no cow’s milk until closer to one or the no solid food for newborn, are given that most people follow. However, some people give food early to a baby before the 4 to 6 months guideline and their baby turned out fine. While other babies got busted gut from having food to early.

I am a firm believer in doing research before I make any major parenting decision. I made the decision to not want to use a bumbo seat for my son after doing research on them. The bumbo seat does not allow a child to sit naturally in the chair, and has the childs is wedged deep in the seat with his legs higher than the pelvis. Instead of the bumbo chair I used a boppy pillow to help my son learn to sit. Whenever I mention this to people I always got the “My family used the bumbo chair and they are all fine”.  This is your child and your decision to use, however it is my decision to not do so.

The “well I was _____ and turned out fine” or “I did _____ with my children and they turned out fine” line is always going to be used because people thing they know better than you do, for what is best for a child. However, new technology and safety guidelines are changing things. No child is the same so, no child will be raise the same.

Attachment Parenting: How I Do It

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What is it?

Attachment parenting is a parenting philosophy that proposes methods which aim to promote the attachment of parent and infant by being responsive to the emotions of your child and encourages closeness.

The 4 principals of Attachment parenting

  1. Co-sleeping – either in the same room as parents or (with appropriate safety precautions) in the same bed. This may involve having bedtime occur on the child’s, not the parent’s, schedule.
  2. Feeding on demand – allowing the child to set the timing of feeding (whether breast- or bottle-fed), along with self-weaning/ partial self-weaning.
  3. Holding and touching – keeping the child physically near, whether through cuddling and cradling, following near once child becomes mobile or by wearing on a front- or backpack arrangement.
  4. Responsiveness to crying – not letting the child “cry it out,” but instead intervening early in the crying bout, reacting to the child’s distress before it gets out of control.

Finding a balance

Attachment parenting is looked down upon because people believe it is draining on the mother/ father/ care giver, however attachment parenting encourages a sense of balance. Staying responsive with your child helps create a knowledge of what your child needs, taking the guessing game away on why they are upset. This gives you a better peace of mind and time for other things. Creating a balance of self- care and infant care helps create a better sense mind and make both parent and infant calmer and happier.

Many people also believe attachment parenting leads to spoiled children, since the children don’t learn to “cry it out” and are held a lot. However as the child becomes more mobile they will become more independent. Several decades of longitudinal and brain research have proven that humans’ optimal physical, mental and emotional development depends on meeting the infant’s instinctive relationship needs. For instance, brain research indicates that the ability to self-soothe and manage anxiety later in life originates in having been reliably soothed as an infant.

As children get older their needs change and so should parenting. They want to be more independent and parents should adjust to let them a have independence, while still making sure they behave and don’t get injured. Letting your child still feel connected to you, while still allowing them to adventure will keep them from being rebellious and out of control toddlers. Some parents struggle not to “over parent”, a good parent is knowing when to keep our hands off and let him stumble, also when to set a firm limit and let him understand it is okay to be upset or unhappy.

What I do

I do attachment parenting by breast feeding on demand. I baby wear, however we do try to use the stroller. he doesn’t like to use the stroller when a lot of people are around him because he gets over whelmed and can’t see mommy, so he wants held. The cry it out method has never worked with my son, we have tried it several times. When he is upset he wants to be cuddled and will keep screaming until he is held or nursing. My son is starting to crawl and learning to walk, so I giving him more time not being held. He doesn’t like when I leave the room, he follows me and if he can’t get to me he will scream cry until I come back. He does prefer to sleep in my arms for naps, but I can lay him in his boppy pillow as well.

Tips For Being a Minimalist Mom With a Baby

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When a mom first gets pregnant it can be over whelming seeing all things a baby needs. Then once you acquire everything that a baby needs, it takes over your home. Babies come with a lot of stuff, but it doesn’t have to over whelm you. Below are a set of tips to help a minimalist mom with a baby not to get over whelmed.

Stick to the list

When you are out shopping for the baby have a list of stuff you need for the baby. Stick to the list if you need diapers and baby food, just get diapers and baby food. You don’t need to look at baby clothes and toys if the baby doesn’t need them. When you do find something that the baby needs that wasn’t on the list. Make sure it’s actually something the baby needs, not something you think the baby needs.

Plan a head and switch items out.

Babies go through many stages. Knowing what a baby needs for each stage, can help you plan ahead. Planning a head on what will go where can help maximize the space. With each stage a baby needs different items. They need swings and bouncers during the first few months, entertainment centers, walkers and highchairs once they get more mobile. Switching out what a baby needs for each stage of development, can help keep clutter from happening with the unused baby items.  

Not to many clothes

Baby clothes may be tiny, however when you get an abundance of clothes they can take up a lot of space. Having enough clothes for two or three weeks, that you can mismatch outfits will save space and still give you plenty of choices for your little one to wear. Babies outgrow clothes very quickly, having several different sizes in a small amount is more practical than have a bunch of clothes in one size and having to find more space for a bunch of clothing in the next size.

Baby items

When babies need a lot of items that take up space, you can get smaller items or multipurpose items. Here is items that can be minimized/have multipurpose use.

  • Changing pad – Instead of getting a changing table that you can only use in one space, get a changing pad that you can move room to room making diaper changes easier. Once they start rolling around you can move the mat to the floor and keeping changes constant.
  • Pack in plays all in one – a pack and play is a very useful baby item for on the go, and offers a place for the baby to sleep outside of the crib.  Some pack in plays also come with accessories such as changing pad, diaper storage and bounces. By having the added on accessories it helps safe space by having it all in one place, and it can grow with the baby by take accessories off.
  • Push walkers– Walkers help babies learn to walk. A regular walker has a tray and a seat that you put the baby on, they then push off the ground to move. Compared to a push walker that has activities for the baby on one side and a bar for the baby to hold on to and push on to learn to walk. A push walker is more space friendly than a regular walker and also provides entertainment
  • Play yard– a play yard is very convent to help keep babies in a safe area. They can be broken up to also be gates to keep babies on the move safe and confined. Compared to traditional gates that fall down easily or have to be screwed into the walls, a play yard is easier and multipurpose.

Being a minimalist mom has helped me from being over whelmed with my sons stuff while still making sure he has what he needs.   

It’s Okay For Boys To Cry

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Many boys are told that it is a sign of weakness to show emotions. They are told to “Man up” and “boys don’t cry”. Emotions are associated with women and a boy can’t be masculine when they act like women by crying.

Boys will be boys has come to include that men will be violent, instead of adventurous and getting dirty. Teaching boys and men it’s not okay to share emotions, can hinder them for the long run. Built up emotions can come out in forms of aggression and violence that can cause them to lash out at. They don’t know how to communicate well without emotions. Not having an outlet to express emotions can lead to substance abuse, stress, depression and unhealthy relationship patterns. Boys are taught to be dominant, be in control, avoid appearing weak, and to hide emotions.

Men are supposed to be the foundation for a family. They can’t be weak because when they are weak they can’t hold it together and be there for the emotional women in their lives. Many men can’t even handle a woman crying because they do not understand emotions. A man could distances himself in a relationship when he becomes overwhelmed with emotions.  

Men and boys make up the highest fatal suicide rate, highest drug overdoses, and more likely to be a mass shooter. Without an outlet to express emotions they can become over whelming, so they turn to drugs or killing themselves and others. When boys do become emotional they get harassed and bullied by their peers.

I never want my son to think he can’t cry or share his emotions. I will teach him that he can always come to me if he has any problems. He will know he can still be masculine and have emotions. I am raising my son knowing one day he will be a husband and a father. He will need to know how to share his emotions in a healthy way.

Not Every Day Is Easy

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When people look on social media they only see a snippet of your life. They only see the parts that you share with them. The smiling cuddly baby, the ever adoring husband, and the obedient puppy is all people see of my life. However, like everyone else I have rough days with my family.

My son isn’t even a year old yet, but that doesn’t mean every day is a picnic. My son is a very clingy momma’s boy, so he always wants my attention 24/7 with no break.  This is very draining on me both mentally and physically, at times I don’t want to have a baby climbing all over me. Late nights of teething and constant nursing, can make for hard days of praying for long naps. But as any parent knows it doesn’t work that way. He is a great mostly happy baby with his moments of fits. I know it will only get worse as he gets older and when I have more kids. However ever hard moment will come with many more happy moments

Anyone in a relationship knows it is not always “a walk in the park”.  Ever healthy relationship has disagreements and rough patches. With pressure of kids, work, finances, family, and the every day to day can add stress to a marriage.  Our spouses become our outlet for our frustrations in our life. In my marriage my husband is my sounding board.  I am a very vocal person on my emotions, and I hate letting things sit and I need it to be fix as soon as possible.  While my husband is someone who likes to think things over and then just let it go. The way we argue is different, but it works, it is very hot and cold.

Being a dog parent can be just as challenging as being a parent to a child. Dogs become part of the family. Any good pet owner gets very invested in our pets. They have good and bad days just like us. They get sick, depressed or hyper, sometimes they don’t listen, they destroy stuff and sometimes they are well behaved. My Austrian Shepard will be two at the end of the year, she is still a puppy and has her moments when she is so wind up that it takes a while to calm her down. I wish most das she will lose her voice box, because the barking is never ending.  She is also very obsess with my son loves to share her toys and food with him. Watching to make sure she isn’t giving him dog food, or having to yell at her for constantly wanting to like his face can become very repetitive.

 Some days are just hard to be a parent and be in a relationship. When we share our lives people don’t see the hardships. They believe your life is struggle free not realizing it is hard for you at time as well. No One has a perfect day every day. No family is perfect, we all have our hard times.

How Having a Food Allergy And How it Affects My Family’s Life.

When I was eighteen years old I ate a small can of cashews. The next day I woke up with my lips triple their size, eyes swollen, sharp pain in my throat, and hard to breath. I developed an anaphylaxis allergy to cashews and related tree nuts and related fruit. My food allergy includes: cashews, pistachio, pecan, mangos, and papaya. I avoid all other tree nuts and tropical fruit because of how closely they are related to my allergy foods, they can even send me into minor allergy attacks. I CAN EAT PEANUTS BECAUSE IT IS NOT A TREE NUT IT IS MORE CLOSELY RELATED TO BEANS THAN TREE NUTS.

Ever since my allergy attack when I was eighteen, I have to watch what I eat. The fear of cross-contamination in foods have become my every day. I am always checking the back of products for “may contain tree nuts”. It is not just food I have to watch for, Procter & Gamble uses tree nut oils in their products, some medications use tree nut oils or mango flavoring. I have carried epiPens until they got too expensive with a monopoly on them $300 to $650 for a pack of two, which has to be replaced every few months. It became easier to just avoid my allergen than have to pay for new epiPens. I can take benadryl with minor reactions.

When I first started dating my now husband a few months after my allergy attack, one of the first things I mentioned was my food allergy. If he wanted to be intimate with me, he had to be careful on what he ate around me. He chose to give up tree nuts so not to risk me having an allergic reaction.

When my son was starting to get to the point of eating purees, I had to look at his baby food to make sure that it doesn’t have mango in it. I have to be selective on what he eats because he is exclusively breastfed and can cross-contaminate to me, making me break out in hives. When he gets older and no longer breastfeed he will be introduced to mango.  Tree nuts would have to be introduced to him away from me because even the dust makes me react.

When I go out to gatherings with friends and family I am always asked if I can eat something or not. It gets old quickly always having to repeat what I can and can’t eat. I still have family who cooks with tree nuts so I am always checking with them on what they put in some stuff like cookies, they get annoyed by it every time. Living with a food allergy isn’t easy and can affect so many people in my life.

Mom experience Guilt

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Many people have different experiences when on the journey to having and raising children. Sharing and updating everyone about your family on social media has become a normal for people to do. When people see how your family is doing they also look forward to the next post on how your journey is go. However not everyone is happy when they see updates on peoples families or journeys, whether because they can’t have children, or they can’t breastfeed, or even they want a Boy/Girl so badly that they become jealous. Being concern for other people’s feelings has caused people be afraid of posting their journeys.

Whether it’s struggling to conceive, miscarriages, or not being able to have children. Not being able to have the joy of getting that positive can hurt many people and cause a strain on them. Seeing friends post their exciting news of having a baby can make you recent your friend. I know from experience when I had a miscarriage in 2017 that I did not want to see other people posting and sharing stories of their babies. I unfollowed close friends and even asked family members not to send me pictures of nieces and nephews so that I can heal. I did not fully heal until I got a big fat positive test that got past the first trimester. Knowing how it feels to have a miscarriage, I did not post many pictures from when I was pregnant because I did not want to hurt people who were going through the same thing as I did.

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Breastfeeding is something many moms want to do when they first have a child, to be able to share the strong bond and know that you are producing food for your child. However many women’s milk does not come in, not enough milk to feed the baby, or they dry up before they are ready to quiet. This causes them to go to formula, something they didn’t want to do. Fed is best, but when you get invested in a way you want to do something, that when you are unable to do it you get hurt. I have been breastfeeding my now 8 and half month old son exclusively. I have not shared many things about my breastfeeding journey because I know several people who were unable to, I even lost a friend of almost 18 years because I am able to breastfeed.

I wish I didn’t feel guilty about my experiences whether it’s being able to have a baby or my breastfeeding journey. I am proud of what I have accomplished and would love to brag about it, but I don’t want to cause other people to have hurt feelings. I have learned a balance to what I share about my son, when I post I try think about how other will feel about this post. I know many people will be so happy to see updates, which is what drives me to share about my son.  I know I won’t get over the guilt after having first hand experiences from the other side, but I cannot let that make me afraid to move forward and share my life.

Having for a clingy baby

Having a baby that wants to be held all of the time can be very exhausting. Trying to get anything done can be hard and may take a lot longer to accomplish than necessary.

My son has always been a mommy’s boy and wants held by me all the time. The only other person who can hold him right away without him throwing a fit is my husband. He has his moments were he is good with other people holding him but it takes about a half hour for him to warm up or he will scream and look for mommy or daddy to grab him.

Here is a list of tips

Tip Strap on a baby carrier / Wrap

               Baby carriers and Wraps are amazingly useful tools. Having your hands free, while being able to hold your baby makes it easier to do things. Baby wearing can be done in several different ways, the baby facing you, baby facing out, and the baby on your back.

Tip Small trips of separation

               Taking small trips away from the baby or having the father take the baby on a small trip will help with separation. Trips to the grocery store or to get gas are small trips away from the baby that will give you a break and time to think and relax.  

Tip learn to do stuff one handed

               Once the baby is big enough to be held on your hip, you get a free hand to do stuff. You will quickly learn to be able to do laundry, cook and clean one handed.

Tip mommy and daddy scent

               The number one tip when you google or ask people for clingy baby advice they tell you to leave a shirt with your sent with the baby. They smell mommy or daddy and feel safe.

Tip introducing a lovey or other stuff animal/blanket

               Introducing a lovey or other stuff animal/blanket will help move the attachment from you to the new item. This will take time to introduce and may have to try several things.

Don’t call the baby a cry baby, they are human and are like the rest of us they are trying to figure things out. Don’t try to force baby to be more independent by getting them to crawl or walk when they are not ready to or want to. Trying to force the baby to be more independent when they are not ready will just cause them to be more delayed with crawling or walking

 Ever baby is different what works for one baby may not well for another. For instance introducing a lovey or other stuff animal/blanket did not work for my son who is very attached to me and since he is exclusively breastfed he’s attached to my breast.

Raising our Children Differently Than Our Parents

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Technology is always growing. With technology growing so is the ability to reach knowledge sooner.  Being able to look up things with parenting instead of having to asking our parents for everything or calling the doctor over every little scratch.

Our parents didn’t have access to the internet as easily as today parents. Because they didn’t have access so easily they didn’t have the pressure of social media to help shape their parenting. Social media helps connect friends and family together on a platform that people can share their lives. When we share our lives we want people to believe that we have it all together, that we are raising our children with the best healthy foods, the newest fashions, and having them doing so many activities as possible.

As technology grows the way to use it as also changed. Parents are turning to apps to help educate their children with new fun games. The use of tablets and phones have become a source of entertainment for to kids, even becoming a babysitter for parents.

The major changes that are different with parenting in modern times is the laws and safety regulations. One of the new laws is how soon to turn your child around in the car. It used to be after the child reaches a year, now its two to four years of age. Parents use to spank kids with no worry now if you spank your child you run the risk of losing your child with children protective services. American pediatrics academy is always doing research to make sure our children safe and releasing a set of guidelines. Such guidelines include when to introduce food to a baby now at 6 months instead of at 4 months.

Stories of children being taken from yards, walking home, or at stores have caused parents to keep their children’s inside more. Parents are more afraid than ever to let their children out of site. This has parents to be more involved with their children when outside so that children can stay in their site safely, but still have fun.

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