Attachment Parenting: How I Do It

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What is it?

Attachment parenting is a parenting philosophy that proposes methods which aim to promote the attachment of parent and infant by being responsive to the emotions of your child and encourages closeness.

The 4 principals of Attachment parenting

  1. Co-sleeping – either in the same room as parents or (with appropriate safety precautions) in the same bed. This may involve having bedtime occur on the child’s, not the parent’s, schedule.
  2. Feeding on demand – allowing the child to set the timing of feeding (whether breast- or bottle-fed), along with self-weaning/ partial self-weaning.
  3. Holding and touching – keeping the child physically near, whether through cuddling and cradling, following near once child becomes mobile or by wearing on a front- or backpack arrangement.
  4. Responsiveness to crying – not letting the child “cry it out,” but instead intervening early in the crying bout, reacting to the child’s distress before it gets out of control.

Finding a balance

Attachment parenting is looked down upon because people believe it is draining on the mother/ father/ care giver, however attachment parenting encourages a sense of balance. Staying responsive with your child helps create a knowledge of what your child needs, taking the guessing game away on why they are upset. This gives you a better peace of mind and time for other things. Creating a balance of self- care and infant care helps create a better sense mind and make both parent and infant calmer and happier.

Many people also believe attachment parenting leads to spoiled children, since the children don’t learn to “cry it out” and are held a lot. However as the child becomes more mobile they will become more independent. Several decades of longitudinal and brain research have proven that humans’ optimal physical, mental and emotional development depends on meeting the infant’s instinctive relationship needs. For instance, brain research indicates that the ability to self-soothe and manage anxiety later in life originates in having been reliably soothed as an infant.

As children get older their needs change and so should parenting. They want to be more independent and parents should adjust to let them a have independence, while still making sure they behave and don’t get injured. Letting your child still feel connected to you, while still allowing them to adventure will keep them from being rebellious and out of control toddlers. Some parents struggle not to “over parent”, a good parent is knowing when to keep our hands off and let him stumble, also when to set a firm limit and let him understand it is okay to be upset or unhappy.

What I do

I do attachment parenting by breast feeding on demand. I baby wear, however we do try to use the stroller. he doesn’t like to use the stroller when a lot of people are around him because he gets over whelmed and can’t see mommy, so he wants held. The cry it out method has never worked with my son, we have tried it several times. When he is upset he wants to be cuddled and will keep screaming until he is held or nursing. My son is starting to crawl and learning to walk, so I giving him more time not being held. He doesn’t like when I leave the room, he follows me and if he can’t get to me he will scream cry until I come back. He does prefer to sleep in my arms for naps, but I can lay him in his boppy pillow as well.

Tips For Being a Minimalist Mom With a Baby

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When a mom first gets pregnant it can be over whelming seeing all things a baby needs. Then once you acquire everything that a baby needs, it takes over your home. Babies come with a lot of stuff, but it doesn’t have to over whelm you. Below are a set of tips to help a minimalist mom with a baby not to get over whelmed.

Stick to the list

When you are out shopping for the baby have a list of stuff you need for the baby. Stick to the list if you need diapers and baby food, just get diapers and baby food. You don’t need to look at baby clothes and toys if the baby doesn’t need them. When you do find something that the baby needs that wasn’t on the list. Make sure it’s actually something the baby needs, not something you think the baby needs.

Plan a head and switch items out.

Babies go through many stages. Knowing what a baby needs for each stage, can help you plan ahead. Planning a head on what will go where can help maximize the space. With each stage a baby needs different items. They need swings and bouncers during the first few months, entertainment centers, walkers and highchairs once they get more mobile. Switching out what a baby needs for each stage of development, can help keep clutter from happening with the unused baby items.  

Not to many clothes

Baby clothes may be tiny, however when you get an abundance of clothes they can take up a lot of space. Having enough clothes for two or three weeks, that you can mismatch outfits will save space and still give you plenty of choices for your little one to wear. Babies outgrow clothes very quickly, having several different sizes in a small amount is more practical than have a bunch of clothes in one size and having to find more space for a bunch of clothing in the next size.

Baby items

When babies need a lot of items that take up space, you can get smaller items or multipurpose items. Here is items that can be minimized/have multipurpose use.

  • Changing pad – Instead of getting a changing table that you can only use in one space, get a changing pad that you can move room to room making diaper changes easier. Once they start rolling around you can move the mat to the floor and keeping changes constant.
  • Pack in plays all in one – a pack and play is a very useful baby item for on the go, and offers a place for the baby to sleep outside of the crib.  Some pack in plays also come with accessories such as changing pad, diaper storage and bounces. By having the added on accessories it helps safe space by having it all in one place, and it can grow with the baby by take accessories off.
  • Push walkers– Walkers help babies learn to walk. A regular walker has a tray and a seat that you put the baby on, they then push off the ground to move. Compared to a push walker that has activities for the baby on one side and a bar for the baby to hold on to and push on to learn to walk. A push walker is more space friendly than a regular walker and also provides entertainment
  • Play yard– a play yard is very convent to help keep babies in a safe area. They can be broken up to also be gates to keep babies on the move safe and confined. Compared to traditional gates that fall down easily or have to be screwed into the walls, a play yard is easier and multipurpose.

Being a minimalist mom has helped me from being over whelmed with my sons stuff while still making sure he has what he needs.   

Not Every Day Is Easy

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When people look on social media they only see a snippet of your life. They only see the parts that you share with them. The smiling cuddly baby, the ever adoring husband, and the obedient puppy is all people see of my life. However, like everyone else I have rough days with my family.

My son isn’t even a year old yet, but that doesn’t mean every day is a picnic. My son is a very clingy momma’s boy, so he always wants my attention 24/7 with no break.  This is very draining on me both mentally and physically, at times I don’t want to have a baby climbing all over me. Late nights of teething and constant nursing, can make for hard days of praying for long naps. But as any parent knows it doesn’t work that way. He is a great mostly happy baby with his moments of fits. I know it will only get worse as he gets older and when I have more kids. However ever hard moment will come with many more happy moments

Anyone in a relationship knows it is not always “a walk in the park”.  Ever healthy relationship has disagreements and rough patches. With pressure of kids, work, finances, family, and the every day to day can add stress to a marriage.  Our spouses become our outlet for our frustrations in our life. In my marriage my husband is my sounding board.  I am a very vocal person on my emotions, and I hate letting things sit and I need it to be fix as soon as possible.  While my husband is someone who likes to think things over and then just let it go. The way we argue is different, but it works, it is very hot and cold.

Being a dog parent can be just as challenging as being a parent to a child. Dogs become part of the family. Any good pet owner gets very invested in our pets. They have good and bad days just like us. They get sick, depressed or hyper, sometimes they don’t listen, they destroy stuff and sometimes they are well behaved. My Austrian Shepard will be two at the end of the year, she is still a puppy and has her moments when she is so wind up that it takes a while to calm her down. I wish most das she will lose her voice box, because the barking is never ending.  She is also very obsess with my son loves to share her toys and food with him. Watching to make sure she isn’t giving him dog food, or having to yell at her for constantly wanting to like his face can become very repetitive.

 Some days are just hard to be a parent and be in a relationship. When we share our lives people don’t see the hardships. They believe your life is struggle free not realizing it is hard for you at time as well. No One has a perfect day every day. No family is perfect, we all have our hard times.

Preparing Your Pet For A Baby

Pets are a big part of people’s lives. The love an owner develops for a pet is strong, they become part of the family. Many people even prefer their dog’s or cat’s company over other people. So when it comes to making sure that our pets are comfortable is very important to us.

One thing that most people never think about when they get pregnant is preparing their dog for the new arrival. Our pets take time to adjust to things like we humans do. Babies come with a lot of stuff and noises. Giving your dog time to react to all the new changes before your new arrival comes into their space, will have a better outcome than just “ripping the band aid off” by bring the baby in. By letting your dog adjust to everything, you can keep your dog from lashing out at your baby, keeping the dog from becoming depressed, or the dog getting overly jealous.

When my husband and I first found out we were expecting our son we just got an Australian Sheppard a few months prior to finding out. She quickly became very spoiled, with a lot of toys and attention. We lucked out with her because she is very smart, she was pottied trained in only a few day of having her. However like most Aussies she is also very stubborn with picking up tricks she only wanted to learn sit, shake and lay down. Once we found out about our bundle of joy coming I started to look into what will help my spoiled Aussie expect my son. Here is what we did

Talk to your vet

Luckily for us we already had a vet appointment scheduled for our dog not long after we found out. We made sure she was updated on all shots and had no fleas or worms. We asked our vet what she recommended to get ready our dog ready. Some of the below listed is what she recommended.

Get baby’s stuff and set it up slowly over the 9 months.

 The number one thing our vet recommended is getting the baby stuff set up over 9 months instead of all at once. We set up the crib in the baby’s room first, then slowly set everything else up such as a swing and pack and plays. By slowly introducing things to her it helped her learn not to be afraid of them and to get use to them.

Baby Noises and Grabbing

We all know babies make a ton of noises from crying to babbling to just full on screaming.  Plus they also love to pull on things like hair and anything they can grab easily. We started to play baby sounds and very gently pulling on our dog to start getting her use to it. She was confused with the noises at first but adopted over time to the point that it didn’t make her confused or anxious her. The pulling did not phase her but helped her understand what to expect.  Of course we don’t let our baby pull on our dog but he does try to grab at her a lot. I can trust to know she wont bite him if he gets a pull on her fur.

Pets Safe Space and Dog Free Zones

Like humans dogs need to have their alone time and a space to have it.  Our dog uses her air kennel as her place she goes to when she is overwhelmed and needs some alone time. Having dog free zones are just as important as have a space for your dog. We have a play yard we set up when we want a dog free space and use pack and plays for safe places for baby to play away from the dog.

Play Time and Training

Your pet goes from having all the attention on them, to having to split the time, or even getting hardly anytime on them once the baby comes. Our dog is still a hyperactive puppy who needs to have time and attention to run around. My husband and I trade time out with the baby and the puppy, making sure they get time with both of us. When we are with our dog we try challenging her to help get energy out by working on training such as leave it command, stay and come command. Having playtime as a whole family is important, by showing both the dog and baby to be gentle with each other.

Making sure your dog feels at home and comfortable will make running your home easier. Our pets are family to us, preparing them for the new arrival is just as important as preparing ourselves

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