There are so many dogs that need
new homes and families who have the homes and hearts to take them in. However
when the family already owns a dog/s it’s not as easy as just bringing home a
new dog and thinking it will run smoothly. Below are some helpful tips to
introduce a rescue dog into the family
Make sure you are
ready for another dog.
Being ready finically is a necessity before
bring in another dog. Since you have to pay for the dog and everything that
comes with the dog.
Make sure resident dog/s are already established.
It can take up to a year for a dog to fully feel at home and understand the
rules in the house.
Fix all bad habits of resident dog/s before
bringing in a new dog. Whether if it is leash pulling, excessive barking,
nipping or jumping on people the bad habit can become worse and harder to break
when a new dog is added to the mix.
The finding the
right dog
Find a dog that’s personality matches your
family. A lazy basset hound wouldn’t work well in a high active family. While a
hyper dog wouldn’t work well with a resident dog/s that is a couch potato.
Two dominant dogs will not work together because
they will be fighting for control, so one dominant and a submissive dog work
well together. However you don’t want to have a dog that will be a bully to the
other dog/s. If they are keeping a dog from you, not letting them into a room,
not letting them eat or drink then they are being a bully dog.
Some male dogs don’t do well with other male dogs.
While females usually do well together. Old dogs can become aggressive with
puppies who have high energy.
The first
introduction
Try to meet at a neutral setting
Keep all dogs on a loose leash. Being on a loose
leash will make it easier to help control the situation, while letting the dogs
can come and go from the interaction.
Try to let them meet nose to nose first then let
them sniff each other. Some dogs do not like to have their butts sniffed.
Meeting nose to nose helps the dogs see each other and feel more comfortable.
Look for any signs of uncomfortable and
hostility
Have a half hour to an hour blocked out
Take the dogs for a together to see how they
will interact with noises and distractions.
Off the leash.
Let dogs play in a fenced in yard with room to
run
Let dogs figure out how to play together and who
is dominant/ submissive, some growling and biting may take place.
Be ready to jump in if things get out of hand.
Give dogs time to themselves so they can have a
break, and each gets alone time with you.
Be prepared to punish
both dogs. Do not let bad behavior slip through just because of the new dog /
new environment. Letting the dogs know who really is in charge will help keep
bad habits under control.
Finally know that
it can take up to two weeks for dogs to fully get along and work together. There
will be times like most siblings when the dogs will dislike each other just let
them figure it out and be ready to step in.
Once I found out I was pregnant I knew I wanted to breastfeed my child. When my son came into the world on February 1st 2019, it was through an emergency caesarean section. So I could not feed my son right away like I originally wanted to do. After, an hour in the post operation room I was finally able to nurse him for the first time. It hurts the first time he latched on, his latch was not right because he wasn’t opening his mouth wide enough. Since his latch was not wide enough it caused my nipples to bruise and bleed, it was very painful in a sensitive the slightest touch made me want to cry.
Another problem we had was my son
was constantly spitting up from having amniotic fluid in his lungs. Since he
was a caesarean baby he was unable to get the amniotic fluid out of his lungs,
which babies born vaginally do during the birthing process. He spitting up
breastmilk with the amniotic fluid, so I had to feed him more often.
Like every newborn my son was
cluster feeding his first few nights. Anyone who has breastfed a cluster feeding
baby knows how exhausting and draining it is. My son was eating every half hour
for 10 minutes each time. So while trying to recover from having a major surgery
(caesarean section) I was also feeding a newborn all day and night with zero
sleep.
I thought about quitting in those
early days, we even got formula from the hospital. One thing my husband and I
did in the beginning was give our son a pacifier. You are not supposed to give
a breastfeeding baby a pacifier or bottles for at least 3 weeks so they do not
get confused since the sucking is very different. However, the pacifier actually
helped our son learn to open his mouth wider making his latch a lot better.
The Struggle Is Real.
I had so many fears in the
beginning, on whether or not my milk would come in or if I can produce enough.
I had friends and family members who were unable to breastfeed, those who were
able to only last a few weeks because of lack of supply. When my milked came in
I felt so much relief, I even had an over supple in the beginning.
In had several clogged ducts, this terrified
me because clogged ducts can lead to mastitis. For anyone who doesn’t know what
that is, it occurs when a blocked duct doesn’t clear, it causes swelling and
inflammation. On top of having a tender inflamed breast, you can become achy,
feverish and develop flu like systems. I was able remove the clogs before they
turned into mastitis, through heating pads, messaging, and different
breastfeeding positions.
When my son was 5 months old he got
thrush. For anyone who doesn’t know what that is, its white, slightly raised
bumps in your mouth. It is an infection in which the fungus candida albicans
accumulates in the mouth, aka a yeast infect in your mouth. I did research when
I first started to breastfeed, so I knew what to look out for. Once I saw the
first signs on his tongue I got him into the doctor as quickly as possible. It took
3 dose of medicine a day and two weeks to fully clear up.
My son was born 6 pounds 10 ounce,
he was little. He has been in the lower percentile for his weight since he has
been born never getting about the 10th percentile. I seen other
babies his age or younger than him gaining weight so rapidly, while my son was
gaining but always remaining small. He was in 0 to 3 size clothes until he was
6 months old. I was worried my son wasn’t eating enough. After doing research,
talking to other mothers, and my son’s doctor I came to realize my son is
gaining fine he is just going to be smaller. As long as he doesn’t still seem
hungry after he nurses I know he’s getting enough milk.
The Reactions
My husband has always been supportive. He left completely up to me on whether or not we breastfed. He does like how it saves us money, and how it helps with keeping him from getting sick. He doesn’t like how when I have to feed my son with other around us I usually go off to a different room to feed our son (I am personally not comfortable breastfeeding in front of others and my son likes to play peek-a-boo with the cover). Me leaving to go feed our son hinders what is going on and creates a bit of awkwardness. Breastfeeding has made it harder for my husband to form a bond with our son because he couldn’t feed him (he did form a bond it just took a little longer).
In my husband family my son is the
only one to ever be breastfed. They do not understand how breastfed babies
differ from formula fed babies. Breast fed babies differ by feedings are a lot faster,
pooping is different, they do not need water as early, they don’t get sick as
easily, their weight is different and they do not sleep as well. I have tried to explain how it is different,
but since they have never experienced it before they do not understand. Sometimes
they feel like they know what is best for him and want us to switch him to
formula so fatten him up. However, as an exclusively breastfed baby he hardly
takes a bottle and doesn’t like to eat as much as formula fed babies.
I have lost friends over
breastfeeding because they were unable to breastfeed (look at mom experience guilt
blog for more details). However, I have also become closer to friends through
my breastfeeding journey.
I know people will come in go and not like
things or become jealous of what others do when it comes to parenting, however
breastfeeding is something that is very personal to me.
Would I do it again?
Yes I would defiantly do it all
again. My first breastfeeding experience is starting to wind down with the
beginning stages of weening off. I will breastfeed all of my future children,
long as I am able to.
Attachment parenting is a parenting philosophy that proposes
methods which aim to promote the attachment of parent and infant by being
responsive to the emotions of your child and encourages closeness.
The 4
principals of Attachment parenting
Co-sleeping –
either in the same room as parents or (with appropriate safety precautions) in
the same bed. This may involve having bedtime occur on the child’s, not the
parent’s, schedule.
Feeding
on demand – allowing the child to set the timing of feeding (whether
breast- or bottle-fed), along with self-weaning/ partial self-weaning.
Holding
and touching – keeping the child physically near, whether through cuddling
and cradling, following near once child becomes mobile or by wearing on a
front- or backpack arrangement.
Responsiveness
to crying – not letting the child “cry it out,” but instead intervening
early in the crying bout, reacting to the child’s distress before it gets out
of control.
Finding a balance
Attachment parenting is looked down upon because people believe
it is draining on the mother/ father/ care giver, however attachment parenting
encourages a sense of balance. Staying responsive with your child helps create
a knowledge of what your child needs, taking the guessing game away on why they
are upset. This gives you a better peace of mind and time for other things. Creating
a balance of self- care and infant care helps create a better sense mind and
make both parent and infant calmer and happier.
Many people also believe attachment parenting leads to spoiled
children, since the children don’t learn to “cry it out” and are held a lot.
However as the child becomes more mobile they will become more independent. Several
decades of longitudinal and brain research have proven that humans’ optimal
physical, mental and emotional development depends on meeting the infant’s instinctive
relationship needs. For instance, brain research indicates that the ability to
self-soothe and manage anxiety later in life originates in having been reliably
soothed as an infant.
As children get older their needs change and so should parenting. They want to be more independent and parents should adjust to let them a have independence, while still making sure they behave and don’t get injured. Letting your child still feel connected to you, while still allowing them to adventure will keep them from being rebellious and out of control toddlers. Some parents struggle not to “over parent”, a good parent is knowing when to keep our hands off and let him stumble, also when to set a firm limit and let him understand it is okay to be upset or unhappy.
What I do
I do attachment parenting by breast feeding on demand. I baby wear, however we do try to use the stroller. he doesn’t like to use the stroller when a lot of people are around him because he gets over whelmed and can’t see mommy, so he wants held. The cry it out method has never worked with my son, we have tried it several times. When he is upset he wants to be cuddled and will keep screaming until he is held or nursing. My son is starting to crawl and learning to walk, so I giving him more time not being held. He doesn’t like when I leave the room, he follows me and if he can’t get to me he will scream cry until I come back. He does prefer to sleep in my arms for naps, but I can lay him in his boppy pillow as well.
When a mom first gets pregnant it
can be over whelming seeing all things a baby needs. Then once you acquire everything
that a baby needs, it takes over your home. Babies come with a lot of stuff,
but it doesn’t have to over whelm you. Below are a set of tips to help a
minimalist mom with a baby not to get over whelmed.
Stick to the list
When you are out shopping for the
baby have a list of stuff you need for the baby. Stick to the list if you need
diapers and baby food, just get diapers and baby food. You don’t need to look
at baby clothes and toys if the baby doesn’t need them. When you do find something
that the baby needs that wasn’t on the list. Make sure it’s actually something
the baby needs, not something you think the baby needs.
Plan a head and switch items out.
Babies go through many stages. Knowing
what a baby needs for each stage, can help you plan ahead. Planning a head on
what will go where can help maximize the space. With each stage a baby needs
different items. They need swings and bouncers during the first few months, entertainment
centers, walkers and highchairs once they get more mobile. Switching out what a
baby needs for each stage of development, can help keep clutter from happening
with the unused baby items.
Not to many clothes
Baby clothes may be tiny, however
when you get an abundance of clothes they can take up a lot of space. Having
enough clothes for two or three weeks, that you can mismatch outfits will save space and still give you plenty of choices for your little one to wear.
Babies outgrow clothes very quickly, having several different sizes in a small
amount is more practical than have a bunch of clothes in one size and having to
find more space for a bunch of clothing in the next size.
Baby items
When babies need a lot of items
that take up space, you can get smaller items or multipurpose items. Here is
items that can be minimized/have multipurpose use.
Changing pad – Instead of getting a changing table that you can only use in one space, get a changing pad that you can move room to room making diaper changes easier. Once they start rolling around you can move the mat to the floor and keeping changes constant.
Pack in plays all in one – a pack and play is a very useful baby item for on the go, and offers a place for the baby to sleep outside of the crib. Some pack in plays also come with accessories such as changing pad, diaper storage and bounces. By having the added on accessories it helps safe space by having it all in one place, and it can grow with the baby by take accessories off.
Push walkers– Walkers help babies learn to walk. A regular walker has a tray and a seat that you put the baby on, they then push off the ground to move. Compared to a push walker that has activities for the baby on one side and a bar for the baby to hold on to and push on to learn to walk. A push walker is more space friendly than a regular walker and also provides entertainment
Play yard– a play yard is very convent to help keep babies in a safe area. They can be broken up to also be gates to keep babies on the move safe and confined. Compared to traditional gates that fall down easily or have to be screwed into the walls, a play yard is easier and multipurpose.
Being a minimalist mom has helped me from being
over whelmed with my sons stuff while still making sure he has what he needs.
A person who is a Type A personality
is considered to have excessive
ambition, aggression, competitiveness, drive, impatience, need for control, unrealistic
sense of urgency, cares about what others think of them, perfectionist
and overachievers. I have always been a Type A person, to the point when things
are not planned out I get anxiety and stressed out. I have been called controlling
throughout my life, causing the end of several relationships and friendships.
Being a Type A person I am very detail oriented with list and calendars for
everything.
When I first found out I was pregnant one
of the first things I did was set up list on everything we need to prepare and
weekly calendar alerts for updates. I am a person who needs to know when,
where, and how for events. Towards the end of my pregnancy I had so much anxiety
and stress because I did not know when my son was coming. People kept telling
me to calm down you are on the baby’s time, it was hard for me to not get stressed
out because of the unknown and how I couldn’t plan things around his birth
because it could have happened at any time.
I had people tell me once you have
kids you will never be on time for anything again. Being late to things has
always given me anxiety, I am the type of person that will be thirty minutes early
for everything. If I know I need to go somewhere I start preparing once I get
up, this includes getting my son ready early with even time for possible
problems such as tantrums and blow outs.
I often find myself comparing my son’s
development to other babies his age or close to his age to see how he is
comparing and adjusting to milestones. Type A people are very competitive and
perfectionist. I feel like I fail at times when my son is a little behind on
some milestones, then I get proud when he is ahead. I know every child develops
at different rates, but that doesn’t keep the competitiveness away its human
nature after all.
Every decision with my son I make,
from what he wears to what he eats. I know once he gets more independent as he
gets older. I also know it will be a slow process of giving up control, since I
pick out his clothes in stores for him to wear and get the food for him to eat.
Patience is a virtue, a virtue that I
do not know. As a Type A mom patience is something I need to learn. I am person
who likes to get task done and not waste time by putting it off. However having
a baby with me all the time makes it hard to get some task done as quickly as I
wish, even writing this article took several hours.
Being a Type A person is not something
I can’t stop being it is a part of who I am. A mom is a major part of who I am.
I have become a Type A mom, it has its struggles and causes unnecessary stress
and anxiety. However being a Type A mom makes me always early or on time and teaches
me patience.
NO mom is perfect. NO child is
raised perfectly. Many moms are afraid
to share stories or ask advice because the fear of being attacked by mom shammers.
Mom shaming is the
judging and bullying of other moms for their parenting choices that they make
for their child. Mom’s judge other moms over pretty much anything. Most moms
who mom shame believe that they are doing what is best the child by telling the
mom that what she is doing is wrong. Whether it is on what the child is eating/
drinking, wearing, or doing moms who mom shame will judge moms on. If a child
isn’t raised to the way a mom is doing it with her child she will shame you.
I am a young mom. I became pregnant with my son at 23, had my son
at 24. I have been mom shamed on social media because how young I am. The mom
shammer believed I would be a bad mom because I didn’t have any “life experience”
so I wouldn’t know how to raise my child. She tried to give me advice on how to
raise me child since as she seen it “I didn’t know what I was doing”. Because I
was mom shamed even before having my son I became afraid to share my journey
with him and asked for advice from people knowing I would hear the “I told you
so” comments.
I have also been a mom shammer when I thought a child was turned
around so soon in against the APA guidelines. I felt bad messaging the mom the guidelines
and laws, but I believed I was helping her do what was best for her child. She
said thank you, but did not turn her child back around.
Whether you feed your child out of a box or organically, stay at
home mom or working mom, feed your kids cow milk or not, spank your child or
not, co sleep or not, use the cry it out method or hold your child all the
time. You are a good mother and DO NOT be afraid to share your parenting journey.
Just tell those mom shammers thank you for your opinion, then keep doing what
is best for your child. Every child is different, everyone’s parenting style is
different.
